i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
