upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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