Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
