i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
