Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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