I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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