On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
