this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
