Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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