So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Is Oprah even human
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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