Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
