...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
