I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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