It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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