69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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