I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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