Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
