maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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