problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
