new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
