I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
