ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
third nipple confirmed
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
