Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My vagina just clenched in fear
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize