I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
