Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
