how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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