Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
