You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
