Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
