stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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