our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
