turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
