Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
