What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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