wat bout pragnant strippers??
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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