Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
