I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
