I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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