i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
