I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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