Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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