It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize