I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I want her autograph on my taint
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You were trust falling into bushes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
