someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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