There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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