Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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