I looked at my own cervix.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
