The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
