Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
