oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
