you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
